The children are also the ones getting hurt in the situation! This relationship counselor says 92% of men who cheat are sexually satisfied at home. I love it. But I shrugged it off and when I asked him arent you worried about getting in trouble with work? I hinted toward it a few times and then he finally realized what I was getting at. I mean he has telling me stories that they went out with marines, or did that or third, but nothing about meeting or becoming friends with a female. Love advice for women and men, couples, and singles looking for love. ???? I convince myself that hes only here because she didnt want to leave her husband and kids. Im sorry I cant offer personal advice or help. Just like when my husband reconnected with a woman from his past on facebook and he claimed nothing was going on and I grew more and more suspicious and they ended up sleeping together multiple times and I cant believe to this day that I took him back but of course I did if for our child. a few yrs ago she move in with us and right after they were a alillte bit to close . Hi i been married for two years almost three.My husband is nice to me but he spends too nuch time a lone in the other room watching sports.everytime i want to talk to him he seems like hs not interesting on knowing my day.he works in an office with 4 girls i seen them and they look attracted. You are worth more. he said she didnt want to go home and he was worried that she and her boyfriend were going to have problems if he didnt take her home and she kept refusing to go home so he said that he dropped her off at another bar. Are you ignoring red flags? Who needs it? Thank you, Once infidelity and that type of dishonesty occur in a relationship, it is difficult to ever feel secure or fully trust that person again. Saying it was old friends catching up and when I found the picture, he didnt tell me saying he knew I would blow it out of proportion and think it was more than it was. Another option is to go to marriage counseling or individual counseling, and try to figure out how your jealousy is affecting your marriage. You also cant guarantee that you can trust your husband forever. when i finish the coursce i went back to my town he come to my flat telling me lot of stories which i did not believe him couse was not having trust on him. I know chlamydia is and std and I even went to a specialist to see if there was any explanation other than cheating. She then proceeded to ask him if him and I were still together and he bluntly told her no, that I was the one that left him and he had been single for a month. Its been Hell. He has said that he is one of the most loyal people I will ever find, and that he has never cheated on anyone before in his life because he isnt like that. Going through it was the worst experience, sleepness nights, fear, doubts- and four years later life is better but Trust is just not there anymore. So we know each other very well. He is ALWAYS ACCUSING of different things but wen i ask him he gets mad and defensive. My husband would blame me for this. Why would two of your friends say that he is cheating? I know that my husband cheated on his 1st wife. I have pulled away significantly since, where right after all this came out, I tried my best to help him. I suspected my partner having a one off fling and I ask him to take a lie detector test in our home which no one would know about and he refuses to do that to save our 20 year relationship and 4 kids, I recently found out that my friend had been secretly meeting at my partners place IV overheard her say to him long time no see, they had only seen each other an HR prior, my partner and I were arguing over the fact that he gets to check my fone anytime he wants and he makes it a huge deal that I ask to check his, so I asked him for it while my mate sat next to me on the bed, and instead of him throwing the fone to me hes thrown it to my mate instead, I went on his fone account prior to this and had seen many early morning texts and fone calls at times she should be home with her man, my intuition is telling me theyve slept together numerous times and that when he threw her the fone it was so she cud delete the messages from his fone before she handed it to me, 3 months later I was sitting at his table and he all of a sudden slid over to me and said I slept with her and I have a few times just telling u wat u wanted to hear and then he goes back to denying it and it comes straight back up when hes angry telling me he slept with her and then back to he didnt, am I getting this right or not, so sick of the gutless games, just tell the truth and own it, Then I can finally dump this morons ass and prove to my kids hes lied to us all, because the BS he tells them Im so sick of being the one at fault. He would say nothing happened your stupid dont think that. Yes, I think your feelings are valid about your husbands best friend! Yes I am a man. A word about intuitionIve been with mine for 2yrs. Its so painfully disappointing. Thinks we can work on this together and tells me that I can go if I want to. Like you, I have a successful career and he stays home. You will have a wonderful family Unfortunately, your new husband has a terrible problem. SO HE SAID, LET ME GIVE YOU MY CELL NUMBER. Finally he admitted it and said it happened twice. Help!! Hes not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before, He picks fights or starts arguments with you. Im just disappointed that you even entertained the idea of an affair and felt compelled to ask the question to women who have risked and lost so very much. Heres an article that may help you see your marriage and your husband more clearly: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-do-you-know-if-he-really-loves-you/, Its called How to Know if He Really Loves You.. You seem to be a very loving person, with hopes for a wonderful family. He and this girl stayed friends that whole time, and I was certain they would end up togetherbut they DIDNT. I know hell use this fight as an excuse to come and go ad he pleases for a while. You cant just let someone take advantage of you in that way. I hope you have friends or family that you can lean on, to help you through this. He tells me that he loves me and kisses me more often. He in fact told me she was an older woman at the time. Please help! i have aassumed he was messing around on me but anytime i would confrony him he would get very angry and upset tell me it was the way im thinking that i needed to trust him. I really like the guy & I know exactly why I want to take a chance with him. 2 weeks ago when I was visiting him he said I should look for an apt. They text and call each other on a daily basis. Laurie, I do agree with you. Do you have any suspicious activity like phone calls, texts, emails, etc? I know this sounds bad. It was too many obvious signs. Train the mind to stay focused on what your doing and not to allow it to wander to negative thinking. If you can not forgive just leave because you are doing more harm to yourself staying. Everything I ever believed in has been smashed to pieces. We started to talk then exchanged numbers eventually. Sometimes I think it comes down to self-respect. I was devastated because he was checking out her photos one night while I was asleep. To think it began with Facebook and he allowed our life together to be contaminated by someone who was using him, the way he uses others. Wives know their husbands; if he changes how he normally talks or behaves, then he might be cheating or lying. I never cheated on him. He says he is looking for work, but has not had an interview at all in over 2 years. I am also having a hard time dropping the daily talks. Id love to chat with you privately if youre interested. Other red flags include: he put a lock code on his phone (he has something to hide), he is not intimate physical (he could be getting it elsewhere, or might get it elsewhere in the future) if u have kids he could be trying to keep the dead relationship for the sake of the children it sounds like maybe you should consider talking out your problems and if you dont get the answer you are looking for, things remain the same, or you find yourself unhappy all the time, consider living apart for a while and rebuilding your self esteem (pamper yourself, hang out with fun friends, focus on looking your best at all times even when alone, just have a huge mancation and seek to repair any emotional setbacks that you have experienced from your marriage). Is it me? 5) For the past two months, he would sleep close to the edge, on his side, of our king bed. Even now after three months he says he is physically not attracted to her anymore. I have come to realize he is a weak pathetic person who cant build any trust in his marriage and frequently puts our marriage on the line for a piece of tail and to get his ego stroked. He is treating you like dirt, hes taking you for granted, and he will make your life more and more miserable. I had to go to therapy and prayed alottttt. In March I was having medical problems from an IUD and had to have it removed. Ive had enough. Trust me, there is a man for you. Well one of the txt msgs said, Ill call you from the firehouse to her!! but i have doubt like he is taking leave from office without my knowledge. What do men say theyre getting from their mistresses that theyre missing at home? I will keep you in my prayers! So, you just need to find and end those running processes. ~ Anything else would mean I would stay and keep sending myself the message that I am not good enough ..not worth it. He has also lost some interest in sex and I have noticed he doesnt miss me or want to see me when I havent seen him in a couple days which is totally different then usualAre we just going through a stage or are my concerns legitimate?? I was and still am constantly wondering why he would do such a thing. We are now on the process of getting a divorce. He also stated that he just didnt know how to tell this girl to stop texting. She was very pretty she was wearing a black string binkini and had a perfect body. HE WILL COLLAPSE into regret eventually.I cant live without youblah, blah, blah dont fall for that either. ask your self this question how old you are, are you having kids together? She does not believe he feels there is a problem. hes constantly texting another girl and they always flirt with each other. 2. I then started finding dating site profiles for him..so he was confronted about this he did deny until I told him I was going to call the number,truth came out .We started going to consoling together and he found out about many of my past problems with abuse and rapes..he knew I needed help . Thank you for being here! You must tell someone. https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-forgive-and-trust-him-after-he-cheated-on-you/. I also have to agree with a statement you made above.I too think that marriage will slowly become a thing of the past and eventually will be considered old fasioned or obsolete. Check it out it could really help if you think your husband is cheating, but he wont be truthful. He picks fights with me for no reason, is always angry about something trivial and will use as an excuse to sleep away from me. I then started checking his phone and his FB messages which talk about he they slept together and him having to pay for her morning after pill. I felt it during my time away. I believe that if you think your husband is cheating, then he probably is. What ever he liked that whore. My prayer is for wisdom and guidance. He said hes faithful to me. And it did. Long story short he left me 3 hours away from home and went back home, after he realized he screwed up he called crying. What you need is someone to help you see your marriage and your self objectively, so you can figure out the healthiest ways to respond. Dont ever underestimate your partner. I pray you find strength, wisdom and peace. They had been texting, talking on Facebook and God only knows what at work. about 6 months of visits I got pregnant with our first child. You will! Then a girls page. The messages were more or less saying what they wanted to do to each other and in his he had said if she wasnt married he would leave me tomorrow cos he loved her. It hurts me, but he doesnt believe in it. He lied to you about his relationship with the other woman (its not just work! And I did. In the last few months my husbands behavior has changed, consistant flirting, he tells half truths or white lies and when I complain about his behavior toward other women he gets very aggressive professing hes not doing anything. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I love him with all my heart, but if there is no trust there is no life together. He never admitted to anything other than hugging. He is a marine and we are living overseas right now with our two kids. He says he cant be having an affair because hes home everynight. PLEASE!!! i wrote in my dairies that GOD PUNISH ME MORE WHEN YOU SEE ME WITH THAT MAN. Nowadays men are irresponsible and unfortunately the society sees men as people with little rights. The fact he cheated with someone I knew killed me.. It is called STENGTH and unfortunately muscles dont have anything to do with it. She was fully clothed, just a selfie of herself. He hasnt stopped going on craigslist even knowing about the STD and everytime I bring it up he just laughs at me and blows me off. Ever, even when we were on the outs. We are unfortunate for him living in today generation where things can easily be accessible. Is there any man out there that can be single? He would tell me that it was all business i then decided to appeal to her to stop ruining our family.. she was destroying us financially and was taking my husband away from me. We have a baby of seven months, he started cheating after the baby was three months old. 5 months into our marriage I find that he has the app Tinder on his phone, at first I didnt open it up. U know the man that is awesome in public and monster all the way home. I just need to know 100% the truth before I walk away i need clousure. Our sex life became very dull due to his lack of desire. Find someone you trust, and talk through your options. He does have a job that seems to have him out of the house a lot. Except his tell tale previous behavior of .only when Im vocally upset. Yup, white crud in underwear, but i couldnt prove it. Well I began to ask questions and my husband kept saying I was crazy and how I was always accusing him but I have always been right about him. But his interactions with me dont come across as just sexual interest (we havent had sex yet, not crossed that line thank goodness but are close. He calls me during the day and seems to want to be with me every second. I wish I wasnt drawn to him because I enjoy our emotional conversations. He gets mad if I bring her up, still denies it, and wont discuss it period. You deserve this break to clear your head because while you are there you will go crazy trying to figure out why this and why that when no answer really seems plausible. @ Lynn, to me it sounds like your husband has did some form of cheating, either physical or emotional, and may be reluctant to admit to everything because of fear of dealing with the damage he has caused to your marriage or losing you. God, I wish He would tell me the truth! ids Farm, a premium D2C dairy brand based out of Telangana, announced that it has increased the retail price of its A2 Buffalo Milk by Rs. Women tend to have a nesting type of instinct that lends itself more toward monogomy than a mans instinctual drives. we have been married for two years. And, even if you justified that and counted all the wonderful things about this guy and pointed out the amazing loss of a potentially wonderful friendship with him, you still identify the loss of his friendship as a risk. So is this the reason you are asking women who have suffered financial loss, emotional pain beyond words because you want to be sure to get a different perspective from women who have suffered so you can prevent yourself from making a mistake and taking an unnecessary risk? But most every night i stay wide awake. I hope this helps. This took him months to tell me. He said he emailed her afterward telling her I found the picture and they would not be contacting or emailing anymore. I also found he had been searching craigslist for girls that were down for sex in an area that he was going to be in for a business trip. I found his Google Voice activity. I had found years ago where he was emailing two different people talking to them. JPMorgan Chase has reached a milestone five years in the making the bank says it is now routing all inquiries from third-party apps and services to access customer data through its secure application programming interface instead of allowing these services to collect data through screen scraping. But now, today, I mentioned how, if he ever becomes single, Im snatching him up.. in a joking way. If you have further questions, feel free to ask! Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. She was mad and threatening to tell me. We forget that and get sick with our sick partners. I dont know. Ive thought about going on Maury for a lie detector test. If not, what changes can you make that will make you happy? A text came in on his phone that read Sorry about our fight today. Cant find Mr Right if your with Mr Wrong. ON MY BIRTHDAY. Lol. When I nag, then he buys me things. If you meet a man who is too charming and too good to be true, thats a BIG red flag!!! I m so tired with taking this all in but I have no other choice except bearing it . She paused and gave him the phone and he was laughing talkin about he was just playing with me. I dont know what else to do!!!! At least he told you the truth about the strip bar. I just have to deal with it and move on. The man is trying like Hell to cheat on you. There is no question he is cheating and possible on drugs. Honestly, it does not feel natural. I have the same story Except we have 4 kids But nothing is stopping him from cheating over computer or phone . I wanted to jump in here so youd know youre not alone! I love him to death and i feel like i cant trust myself on this. He is a military man n hard to read at times. I come from a difference race. So when he went to the strip club 3 weeks after I delivered, I asked him did he have fun. Why would he need a picture of this girl, if the already has million pictures of herlself everybody to see? One day I looked at his phone that I pay for and saw a text saying I love you babe and he tried to make it sound like it was one of his kids baby mamas but it wasnt. hi : you said you have been together for 12 yrs girlfrnd and boyfriend, 12 yrs is too long, did he propose to get married to you? Hes said before he wishes he left his girl friend before asking her to marry him but he wasnt sure if taking that chance of meeting me once would end as he would hope for it to be. I believe most women genetically have a strong ability to remain with one lover for life with out question. Either way, you may learn more about their relationship, which will help you move forward. He became extremely aggressive and angry with me when I started accusing him of being way too involved with her. I believed and trusted him. I could walk away from this and just take it a misunderstanding..and I wanting a blood test. Our intimate life had always been great, and I know we were bunting heads for a little while before this last incident. only during times when I was not at home, or while he was at work. He told me this that day a week later when I found her name in his address book. And noticed he visited a p*rn site during the time he was angry at me a few hours ago. My relationship with my husband was rocky from the very beginming which was early 2002. cheated while Id be out and about. NOT his typical behavior so now it has me wondering. He was very critical of me 3. I was abused in every relationship i was ever in. You deserve to be loved! He doesnt seem to care much about what Ive been doing. But lately he is almost admitting to me that he has an affair, and that he is staying with me for the kids, and that when they grow up he will leave me, my youngest daughter is 7. i stayed with my byfriend with no choice, i cried everyday. Tells me last night that our relationship is boring. I found an itinerary for a king sized suite for two at a hotel in our city. Okay so I take him back like a ideot. It kills me, it pains me.but i cant continue to wallow in this pain of waiting for the man i felll in love with 19 years ago to come back to me. Im brokenlosti bileve ,fell something is happeningcondom that i find he admitted that is hesI ask him did he sleep whit someone.He sad that he left that condom for a very long time in his working truck, so I can find and we can fight and divorce.Im in shockomg But in other hand I dont bilive what he sad 100%I never open his truck. Because he made me so happy and treated me and my son really good. He admitted to me that he asked her out on a date, but she refused to call it a date, so it was merely just friends. What he says specific statements are indications of lying about his affair My name hannan iam filipina live in saudi arabia middle east I been maried 3 years, my husband saudian, I was in loved with him because he was a sweet, loving but he always lying on me, not only once,twice million times thats whyI changed. Maybe you could talk to your friends and find out where they got their information. You can recover honey. Now, i dont mean to scare you even more.. what im saying is that you have to be aware of that and take in mind that this is not so far from reality as it may seem to you right now. So much anger filled me right away. he said no that is why we are going out this side door. Because lately all he seams interested in is video games, porn, and what ever he wants to do. He looks over to see who was calling and got up and redialed the number. Ive been in therapy a number of times for various issues. What this study says is that when you put all of those things together, for men, personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model. Please help with words of in courgment. While he continues to live here. He acted on his impulses. And is always accusing me of messing around. He made sure she was going to be ok before he would leave her. Rebuilding trust is possible but involves a lot of work if the husband is willing to take responsibility (not blaming it on genes) and explain how and why he did it in the first place. I work third shift and find myself wondering is he doing something behind my back? Youre too good for that man! I was ready to leave, but he drove me and my phone was dead. AND you caught him lying over and over Why is he lying? To them the truth is a hallucination of a monster waiting to turn them into a rubble of shame. If yes, good! He is treating you like garbage. Also, it seems I found a brunette hair in his work truck which am truly sure is not mine. and its always the same stuff. Even on the days you feel weak and scared youre still growing and flourishing. I have trusted my husband and the female friend that works with him in his buiness for 10 years. It is crazy when we dont do the thing that we know and feel is right. He even has a profile set up I confronted him and he denies its him he says someone set him up. I know how you all feel. I did not think anything of if as I thought they were in one of the establishments looking at a job they would be doing. I found all kinda of correspondence between them. I am still in shock as we never even had a fight. I cant find one because I have an iPhone and he has an android. He is also the first guy Ive ever opened up to about my childhood. Ive been making 36 yrs the 1st of November. Then deeply breathe and say really? And he even try to contact his ex. I only knew him for a year of the 19 years weve been together, really KNEW the loving man he was. If I was working and one of my girlfriends from work sent a message like that he would make me respond to the message but he dont. Its time you reassess yourself and really determine your self worth. As a christian you should tell the truth and who know the truth may set eveyone free and you can have him. Id always said, I NEVER in a million years go with a married man! It was WRONG! When I call that office I only speak to him and would never play such games. But thats NOT YOUR FAULT. The story just would match up. I think about it almost daily. I have no place to go, my family lives in Atlanta and I have no money saved. There are so many possibilities for you can you see them? Ive been through it myself. Or I thought I could change him, or he would change. And i think he is starting up again. The internal struggle , the tug of war between disgust-rage-pain-humiliation- rejection and fear- love- desire- want- need is enough to kill you. Only 8% of men cheat because they want more physical intimacy. I asked him if he wanted an open relationsihp and he said NO! Does the woman saying something to me mean anything? I have been with him for Two years. Even more-so that so many of the women with these cads end up STAYING with them! So he was not getting sex. Then I went to his office and conveniently his American Express bills were not in the files. I never knew he was a liar until after I married him. Amen. Perhaps it is an ego boost. Elisa said that she had a weird feeling, and she found her husband viewing the profile of another woman on Facebook. I finally got ahold of him at 4:00 a.m. and he says that his phone died. Wives know their husbands; if he changes how he normally talks or behaves, then he might be cheating or lying. Put God in the center and everything will come together! Facebook opened the floodgates for ghosts of girlfriends past . Thank you for being here it takes alot of courage to share how things are going in your marriage. My fiancee is cheating me with his so called ex wife. When we arrived over there she was not there and her boyfriend looked very angry at us. Successful marriages without cheating have been found to be between two people who take their vows seriously, the same way they live according to their values. Trust your inner feelings, you will find in the end you were right. I feel for your heart but Im guessing that at times.. its consuming you. Will this ever end? I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). And, if he didnt have a sexual relationship, you feel cheated that your best friend, your husband, your groom would even dare spend time with another woman while you slept in your hotel room especially on your honeymoon. I cant let it go. What is one thing you can do today to start creating that life? May you be wise and clear-headed, and may the curtain of desolation and despair be lifted from you. He stayed at a friend ( another ex) who was going through a divorce. He said I wasnt paying attention to him etc. What you dont realize is the pain you are enduring is worse and unending until you make that change. The night before I checked his phone I had cuddled up to him in bed and he more or less shrugged me off. I do not normally reply to peoples posts but I read yours all the way and it broke my heart. With someone . Browse our listings to find jobs in Germany for expats, including jobs for English speakers or those in your native language. I too have been in this marriage for almost 20 years now. All 10 resonate with me, what Im going thru. It bothered me that he did not mention this to me when we were introduced and I knew nothing of this woman the whole time we have been married. You just dont have any solid proof, but you know something is going on. He has been cheating or this girl says they have been together everyday for five years. I never confronted him about that one. I wish I have known, I spent 3 years with himI feel stupid to trust him and every maneven though telling his wife makes me feel better but Im not there 100%. I need honesty to move forward, and I read that crack is very addictive. It was almost like he was protecting her or their memory. I completely trusted him. I do not know what your story is or how I could even help you. Our early years and total of 3 kids plus his huge family interfering every chance they got.and on and on did put great strain on me (us). why does that make you feel cheated? Its just something Ive observed frequently in many people Ive known. The pictures on her profile were all bikini pictures. So later also in workig hours he gets a text from his brother, I open it and its more pornographic videos. Things like that. If hes not willing to work on your marriage, you cant save it yourself. He sent a text so i got to see it. I cant tell you if you should leave him, or if hes cheating. Whats the best option for me? I know change can be scary but sometimes we have to walk through that fear to get something good on the other side. of course we r not perfect as parents but we do try to better ourselves. I am so sorry to hear this. You know he thinks youre unattractive and worthless compared to his lover .hes told you that. Who did you hire?? I do not know if he regrets that decision (although I personally think he does at some level). (anything more than that, will be icing on the cakeGod willing! But you Teresa have not described any circumstances or evidence that leads me to think your husband is cheating. me! I am pregnant again, and my husband insists we use condoms. He doesnt text me when hes up or going to bed. The wknds he wasnt home. I asked to see the text and he deleted them. I know how it can rock your world. Or, maybe all you need to know is that your marriage needs help. Im so sorry you are going through this! He even told me I am nothing compared to her, that I suck in bed. Its just in this world with all of that superficial nonsense, that is a rarity. You dont feel safe with your boyfriend, and youre not sure you can trust him. Its super clear that you know your husband is up to NO GOOD. Laurie .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlens last blog post11 Differences in the Way Husbands and Wives Handle Money =-. During our marriage 3 years ago he got and 18 year pregnant, I stayed with him as long as I could. Writing to women who are victims of cheaters is like asking dog lovers if you can use one dog for a violent scene in a movie and try to justify why you are asking the question to dog lovers. Then, he tells me that his co workers say that I call his job ask to speak to people and hang up. He as four of the signs that hes cheating. I had bad vibes about her from the beginning she was entirely too friendly in our male dominated workplace. I was doubled over in severe emotional paun, crying out to God! He says it was only sex never went out or talked about anything else but work, since she went to his company to make a project and that was how they met each other, then he finished the affair. Any insight or suggestion you can give is appreciated. It seems he doesnt want to be intimate to me emotionally and physically. You are a survivor, and you have the power to get through this and become a stronger, smarter, healthier woman. ive told him to stop because hes watching my heart break without realizing it. You are worth more! well she done had the 3rd kid and he is now 3 months old and he is still bouncing back and forth between me and her so i told him he is either going to choose me or her again not even a month went by i went through my phone records cuz i paid for him to have a phone and i found a number i didnt recognize and i called it come to find out he had been talking to another girl and been hanging out wit her so i went and met her and she showed me all the txt messages she was straight up honest wit me so evidently 2 of us wasnt enough he needed 3 women in his life and i come to find out that im pregnant with his child and through all of this his baby mama wit the 3 she found out i was going to have his child so she took her 3 kids and left finally she was gona it was jus me and him things were finally going good i was starting to trust him then he goes to jail for 2 days and i go and get him out and he swore up and down to me that things were going to be different so 2 weeks before my due date to have our child i go back to my house for a couple days and go to my doctor appt alone again and i find out that he had been talking to his other baby mama and she was now back down at his house living there again so i leave for 2 days and he brings her back so i told him that he would regret that for the rest of his life and he is because he didnt get to see his son born. I havent told our kids about this other baby cause I feel its not my responsibility to do so. I dont think Im being nieve but he just isnt the type of person to cheat on me. He never did. Id also like to add that therapy and books are wonderful way to get insight on this issue but a real discussion is much more effective with people who dont know you personally and will not be bias or possibly because you are paying for their expertise. He didnt return any of my calls. And it happened that very night, he was out working late, not even coming home for dinner. I know men are visual creatures. I got answers a little more then him, I confronted him and told him she told bla blah. On Dec 18 he came to my home and threatened me, which I dont take likely. It has haunted me bc he wont tell the truth. If their belly button faces the door or exit, its because subconsciously they want to leave or escape. He has become more absent minded. I feel like somethings is really wrong. He goes out three times a week. Coz I feel as if I know you. Our daughters age. Take comfort in knowing that your husband thinks the world of you. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'thewindowsclub_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',804,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-thewindowsclub_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');If you are not much into troubleshooting and want to get it quickly resolved, this suggestion is good. "Sinc He didnt answer my calls. And had a sweet little one together. Be wise. Is my husband cheating? Hi! A couple of months ago he decided that he wanted to go on a diet and shave his gotee. Thinking that I had known everything now and maybe we could be stronger, I married him. Comments are welcome pls. Years later I told him that was the cruelest thing a partner could do their spouse! On his skype I see a girl, who he met at the same time with me. and mind you, there is a differance between lying, and keeping something a secrate, we should all have the right to keep a secret, so dont force your man to lie about something, and worry about whats really importent (is he committed to raise a family with you, will he provide a home, and be there for you and your kids). You are worth more. I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. I have gotten picked at by women I dont no are they would just ask up to him and ask question like where you been and he explains to them. My gut instinct was screaming!! From June of last year to March of 2011, he lived and worked in a different city. Your story sounds similar to mine. Its no wonder he had an emotional affair with his cousin (and possibly a physical one too.). Thank you for sharing your experience with cheating in marriage. I realized they were always together and ate lunch together which most of the time I did also. He wouldnt talk to me for 10 days. I decided to forgive him and he decided to deactivate his Facebook. A teacher? https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-cope-with-failed-relationship/, Ok so me and my husband have been married for a year we have lived together for 10 years and have 7 beautiful children together. He told me he knew it was wrong, but wasnt thinking. And needless to say it didnt work. I thoughT i did everything slow like your supposed to in the beginning. i let a day go by before confronting again. Now i really find my self just setting alone. I have tried so hard to forgive him. We are together today and he thanks me for saving him and our marriage (which he was wanting to scrap get a mediator and divorce. Im 36 years old, him 38. Sometimes couple of times in a month. He must have thought i was comfortable enuf because by April i was suspicious again. Now my gut confronts me again, he went on a short 3day business trip. She was 25. Well little did he know he had already tould on himself. Yes, Ive heard that if you think your husband is lying about cheating, then he probably is cheating. And, yes, I have no doubt that that time was a scary, perhaps even depressing time for him, but he had every control over every decision he made, his decision to text her while in bed with me, his decision to run to her rescue the moment she said so, the decision to leave family functions to meet with her on weekends at the office etc etc etc Nothing about his actions indicated that he was concerned about how I may feel, that in all that time, I was not important at all, to the point that he would tell me that if I felt the way I did, then I must leave. I broke it off. Fast forward to 3 days ago, he says they dont talk well I had somehow managed to get on his snapchat and saw that they had been talking. if you man does drugs, and doesnt tell you, it would be the same kind of cheating. I know youve already shot this idea down, but thats the whole point of this article! Asking him about it without hard evidence has only made him sneakier, and harder to catch. Although sex has never been a problem between us. All classifieds - Veux-Veux-Pas, free classified ads Website. But when new genes are brought into the picture (different partners like a new man or woman from somewhere else). Im 27 and married 7 years, have 3 young children (6,4 &3). And you cant trust that hes not lying about his wife cheating first. Hi, I found out that my husband was having an emotional affair with his college fling. What do you think about talking to a therapist, just to sort through your issues? I mean he has never had to do anything for himself when he comes home, ill have his house clean his son taken care of, I always have dinner on the table right when he walks through the door. Question is I never ever receive any emoji sign from my husband , how can those love emoji are showing on his phone frequently used?? So I was really surprised that he wants to stay together, especially when he seems to have another option. You can be free, you can be healthy, you can learn to love again if you so choose. so i dont trust him. Be very careful who you trust. And just before he gets friends with girl number on, hes unfriends this second girl. Thank you all for your knowledge it is the clearity that I need. Really? Why do you need to know that hes with her before you separate? I was told by ,my boyfriends ex that while I was at a doctors appt.She was with him and they slept together she knew my daily activity all day.He told me she was never there and nothing happened.ONE (1) whole yeah later he addmitted to spending the day alone with her and swears on his UN-BORN child nothing happened , and she swears that they had sex.I know deep down it happened it was over a year agao but every time we have a fight he run back to her house and sleeps with her again.Now he says hes differentWHAT DO I DO? I will never have the answers to so many questions because my husband doesnt respect or value me enough after 20+ years of love and devotion, to give me any answers so I can have some kind of closure. He has no concern about my feelings and says I am jealous and need to get help. You dont need to find evidence to make it 100% certifiable. men cheat, if they feel cheated. He chose not to communicate . Every couple has to define their own rules, terms and what fidelity means to them. I never would be type to look through his phone or anyones but I would do it to annoy him as he would look at mine as he knew what he had done and was always projecting his shortcoming. I havebeen married for 16 years and been with my husband total 19 years.I have caught him about 6 times he has freinds that are females. As you type a single letter, any searches that begins with that letter will show up along with the date. Once done, relaunch Edge and see if it works fine. Im hurt, disrespected, ashamed, embarrassed and my self esteem is so low. Few weeks into it her husband dyes of cancer, her son disowned her and my husband said he didnt do anything and is innocent. The ugliness must stop and you need help to stop it. THEY WILL BREAK YOUR HEART ! RECENTLY, A EMPLOYEE WITH TCS IN RALEIGH N.C. I found that so disrespectful. I can not think of another relationship at this time. And this hurts me so bad that it is destroying me as a person and a mother. to him he loves me but cannot do anything to please me,he calls me a controller anytime i confront him about anything.now i am almost due for delivery of our first child and all he does is to stay out the whole day and go clubbing at night.he claims he does business even in the night and will probably have no money for us when he stops his night escapades. You have to learn how to deal with the situation and find out FOR SURE if he is cheating or not. Your 5 ways to tell if a man is cheating are the stupidest things I have ever seen. When we got to the wake she comes in and he goes up to her and ask me if I know her and I again I said no. I pulled our phone records and notice there were sending text messages back n forth to one another . Not all women have girlfriends to talk to. How would you proceed if you were me? does he show to you openly when he go to the other woman? He did not know it was me, and we exchanged several explicit emails. Much prayers and good luck!! I dont know if your husband is lying about cheating, but there certainly hasnt been alot of honesty about what hes doing. 1time I called him after giving him time to get there he claimed hed been shopping but didnt buy anything. April, your response to this woman was perfect! Even you track him in gps or on his cell phone dont say nothing unless you see him in your eyes cheating, again they will lie if we dont have hard evidence. He is a hard working man, hes absolutely wonderful with my girl, he is a great provider, my family loves him, he has never hit me or tried to hurt me in any way. He had an indiscretion with a woman three years ago and we have since recovered. When she had enough, she just kicked him to the curb. Hi everyone, been with my husband (now) for 2 years before he proposed to me, we got a place and got married 5 months ago. I also pray for strength and energy to find ways to change your life and become happy again. I dont want it to be true- because it would hurt me so much more than the suspicion that it may have happened, but I need to be realistic and realise that it may have, and that hurts just as much. Paper conversation turned into i miss you and love you/ wanting you back i guess he wanted to feel wanted and needed by this women. Now that 7 months had past, I recognized I was played, taken advantage of, plotting against me, setting me up and like the police said, they deal with men like that all the time. With time, you will feel it I promise. I need some advice asap on what to do or how to go about confronting him again. Theyll survive and bounce back kids are resilient especially if you maintain a healthy, strong attitude. He Denies it and try to cover it up . What does your gut tell you about your husband cheating? He is the only one I have ever been with. Has had several FB conversations that made my jaw drop, telling one of his old friends (female) I am crazy, hes stuck, hes stuck between a rock and a hard place because of our child, he would prefer a single life right now, I dont love him the same. Just try to see the funny side. six months ago, i bumped into his whatssap conversation where he was telling a lady that can he come and show her his big blah blah blah. while drinking and talking he would blame me for his drinking, he tolde he would leave if i didnt change me, when i felt he needed to change sum things as well. Good luck xx. We had seperated in September 2015 until November 2015. Maybe he didnt. Then he eventually moved to where i lived. So I blocked her and him and I fought. I feel really betrayed, since this is the 3rd time. T-Mobile US is the second-largest wireless carrier in the United He thinks if you met someone 30 years ago, yet you havent really had a relationship in over 20, that still counts as something meaningful. In each case it was they who made the first approach, after my habitual flirting and compliment paying didnt seem to be going anywhere; I get pleasure from simply being polite and engaging with the ladies just as my father used to. ! I would sincerely like to thank you for helping me realize that I need to start thinking of what I need in order to be ok, rather than what we needI have also realized that I have been waiting for him to answer me and in actuality, by not answering me and reacting as he has been, he pretty much gave me his answer sometime ago. When he returned to working his night shift, I had a weird feeling and felt compelled to check his Facebook. I used to be petite and 105 pounds after my first daughter I gained almost 100 pounds. totally went through similar experience as you did. Hi, Thank you! i dont know how to handle this anymore im broken. Sweet Pea, It gives me some comfort knowing I not alone. Where Do You Live After a Separation or Breakup? So go F yourself.. Please i really need advice ladies. My heart goes out to you. Confused between an affair of the heart and physical cheating in a relationship? What does your gut tell you about his behavior? Listen honey, right now you cant think your way into right living, but you can live your way into right thinking. I told him to check his records he jerked the computer away from me. since we met he is cheating with various women includes his wife. Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. I am sure because his patience is now wearing thin from all my accusations and worries. I would like to know if he is cheating of not? I really need help and guidance to get through this and how to make the pain go away without bringing it up again. Says alcohol was a factor in it all. According to this page. The latter finding might seem counterintuitive, Milhausen said, but other studies have also found this connection. what should I do? i really dont know what to do or what to belive, i wish somebody could give me some advices.. I was invisible there. Her pictures flash through my mind and it still hurts so so much. Yesterday he had the nerve to ask me whats wrong because Ive been crazy emotional lately!!!!!! I have been married for 32yrs my husband cheated on me all that time .then he had sex agirl from there and he had cheated on with younger girl at gas station .he never stop ever he still doing it he said he love me but it hard to believe and trust him ever he go every morning to see the one of them her he wants to have baby with but her. PressModify. It was a women but he said it was his friend who is male. I do not think I will ever be But life goes on and Im curious to see how this turns out, Keep you head up. Coverststions are less, sex gas gone from 2 times a day to, once every 3 months. I have been getting anonimous emails about my husband seeing another woman since last year. Show a man love, faith, warmth, hard work and he will follow you. How do I truly find out whats really going on with him and how he feels about me or is he already telling me? I know that I have a lot of insecurities, and he picks on me about them. I see her at work daily. What do YOU think? If I ever feel like hes cheating on me I ask him if he is and he says no, that I am his one and only. We have been cuddling and he has seen how much this hurt me as not being there for me and running to another woman for at least emotional support. He is chronic liar and a cheater. As u said u and him are good friends. I knew it was bc she was nearby. Theresa, Sweetie, you are wasting your time. Confront him? That will require following him & having definitive evidence to give to him. I hav never been cheated on before (that I know of) and my 20 yr marriage ended because o other reasons .. my ex is now someone I appreciate because my now fiance cheats constantly and I think with hookers. He excepted. And my prayer is that you follow yourself, for you already have the answers. Im trying to think about my kids who are in the middle of this situation. If he does it more then once leave his ass. Not be raised in a dysfunctional family!!! Ive tried to stay with him and not give up on us so soon. Talking about his sex life, his past relationships and this is all with strangers. Specific genes makes men men more likely to cheat. Some he admits to, most he denies but Im sure he is lying. I know this must sound crazy and to extravagant. I then came home. What should I do?!!!!! "Sinc We went through counseling to salvage our marriage. He is a Godly man etc. I didnt. He didnt tell me all this while until after the phone call. The wired thing about the time he called he called me 23 minutes early before his lunch break. That he wasnt happy etc. Do what works best for you both, not what anyone else tells you is right or wrong. I did everything for him. She even went out of her way to pretend she was going upstairs to an office just so she can pass my husband. When i got back i felt something was wrong, like he had been cheating. Pack his stuff up; change the locks, be ready with the police if needed and keep his pathetic a*** out hun xxx. LADIES KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH! He then told me he and a much younger friend met a couple of girls at a bar and my husband was just being the wingman for his friend. THE BEST PART of our relationship was always COMMUNICATION. should i trust his words? I have felt like my husband has been cheating for year. This is because, while he was in the University, he had a female classmate that he was always walking around with. I have been married for a little over 5yrs. I really do love him I just dont know how I could ever get pass this. Love yourself, dont cheat with guys who are already involved with other women. My dysfunction upbringing was nothing compared to my hubbys step father. My personal opinion is you need to come out of the place of mistrust. By the way i know already that my husband is lying because i track him in his phone but i cant say nothing unless i see in my eyes, i learned my lesson. Should I believe him? He brings me presents, buys me shoes and takes me out more. It not just the direct lies its the stories and the elaborate effort he makes to hide his lies. Do a mans friends have anything to do with his willingness to cheat? And most importantly stop accusing him and telling him everything you know. When I questioned my husband who this young lady was he said that its one of his co- workers sister and that the meet her through him. Then I realized that since he had a vasectomy, he probably didnt wear a condom. I have been married for almost 3 yrs, been together for 5. I feel awful for you you sound sweet and loving. Then, after all these years of emotional and verbal abuse, I finally realized there was a name for someone like him. I always ask him to take a test..but the answer will be no. M sorry but, I dont spy on anybody so I dont think so! I am a strong woman who has endured child abuse, rape, death of a young child to cancer, etc. I will say a prayer for all of you.please get away from the ones you are with who are cheating on their spouses I PROMISE you there is someone out there for you who will treat you perfect! I loved him I wanted us to be okay. God Bless. I told him if he didnt call me in 5 minutes I would call the number. Do you need to know for sure that hes lying about cheating on you? Ive been with my husband for 23 years, married for 18 years. he was just looking at her picture for fantasizing and thats all. Wow-so many women who seem torn about what to do when it comes to a cheat in their life. That day I kicked him out only to beg him to stay. But when he started locking and hiding it, I became very suspicious. The risk is huge for a married couple not only emotionally and mentally but financially. In fact, he did lie to me here recently about where he told me he ways going and where he actually went. But its summer again, and he has lots of time on his hands. I dot want to tell him that I have been on his messages and skype, I know I crossed the line. My husband has accused me of cheating when he was in Afghanistan and I would constantly have to reassure him that I wasnt. It sounds like youre confused and conflicted about your relationship. I am sad all the time and who knows if he did this once he will do it again. Then last year on Facebook, he met another longtime friend, which he sent Facebook messages to. I guess when he stops providing Ill probably lose interest in staying with him. I knew our marriage wasnt perfect, but I never would have believed this kind, gentle man would do this sort of thing. Because I trusted him. He made me so insecure. after a few times she didnt whant to do this anymore. Are you okay? Im not one to share my emotions so this is a big step for me. At first I thought nothing of it. Im in counseling, and hes quit drinking. the wife has told me in the past that her friend get crazy when she drinks a few drinks. In the end, if youve put your heart in and really tried to make this person happy and he remains unhappy within the relationship and wont participate or communicate, then you are being mistreated and deserve better. I hope this changes someones life out there. I will be praying for you and your child!!! We are created with that desire to have sex with different partners because in the endit makes stronger kids. I then went into history and found that it was all deleted (which i know my computer saves, Ive found sites from there before) I bbmed my husband and told him that I found a live porn chat online, whats up? He is always gone to work weeks at a time out of town or state hes always jealous of other dudes wen he is around and doesnt want me talkin to n e one or n e one lookin at me hes very controling and argumentative and he jus started being this way about 1 year ago. Not surprisingly, 77% of husbands who cheated had best friends who also cheated on their wives. and face whatever if he was really sorry and remorseful so he did and he is begging for forgiveness and said he will never do it again and he was stupid and he just was curious to know what it felt to be with somebody else, had no feelings for any of them but feels horrible for doing it and keeping it a secret and he wants and loves me and knows for sure that he deserves anything I decide, it has been 3 months he cries and gives me love notes, prays every day, reads the bible, goes to church, goes to confession, and signed up us to a Marriage encounter so I wont leave him, he says he will give his live for me to be a happy person now and to give him an opportunity even though he knows he does not deserve it. He chooses to protect his cohorts and hide the truth, swallowing his lies. She would critesise me on things likeIf i see someone doing somthing wrong and I talk to her about it, she replies with something els I did wrong. Help? Could you call a support line, and talk this through with a counselor? I think counseling is a good idea even if you decide to stay, because you need to learn how to live with a husband you dont trust. I know now he runs around with other women too behind his wifes back! Whether youve been married for a year or committed to each other for 20, its confusing and painful when trust starts to slip. 2/- per 500 ml packet effective immediately. I called this girl and found out that my husband had for warned her that I would be calling so I cant believe anything she told me during our converstaion. He craved her like he was intoxicated . It sounds totally one sided and he sounds like hes treating you like crap. AMEN. Please leave him honey!!! Makes me feel bad when I dont want to have sex. I would love to work it out, but I cant do it alone. I think most women who feel cheated, just want to know if their husband had an affair, in order to make a good decision on whether to stay or leave. if one in every two men cheat, than a guy with two friends, has a 75% chance of having a cheating friend, its just numbers, and it means nothing. I started cheating to find someone who would appreciate me! He deleted the account because they have each others phone numbers. This past December, there was a woman who came up to us at the bar and introduced herself to me. you dont like the guy? I think my husband has had an affair. Just a week before I said to him that if someone came up to me and said you cheated on me I would not believe them I trust you 150% and he looked at me with love eyes. Prior to our move I found out he was having another affair with a coworker who was also scheduled to go to Atlanta. And why does it seem like the only time he wants me is when becomes home that late from playing poker? Why are you wasting your time with him? OMG I know how you feel my Husband is a Pastor and I snooped and found out he meets women on a dating site and one lady he even gives her money. Even though I can see that he is trying to repair the damage that he has caused, Im so fearful of finding trust again in our relationship. Ive had a hysterectomy in 2007 so there was no need for condoms. Listen to your gut. A week ago he left a 2 min voicemail on my phone with him and a girl having a conversation. TRUST YOUR GUT AND PRAY THE HOLY SPIRIT WOULD REVEAL ANY DARKNESS TO YOU. I pray you find healing for the hurts that have been done to you, and I pray you find wisdom to leave people who dont treat you with love and respect. Hmmm , i find bs. But sounds like he really does love you, and your marriage might work out for better. Big regrets. allison sorry hun . be abusive towards you? Jan, If you happen to see this Id LOVE the link to that motivation video. At first it is just a crap, basically how they both are and talk about their common friends. Take into consideration that the era has taken more of a front seat to cheating lifestyles than ever before. He said the woman lives in another city and it was too far and too late for him to take her home. I was having a miscarriage at that time and I wasnt aware of it. Also, my husbands attitude towards me has changed a lot, he always pick up quarrels with me, he is no longer intimate with me as we used to be, sometimes, I cant help but think that he is no longer in love with me. I said that I was already in the parking lot near the doors around the corner from the office.
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